By participating in the She Reads Truth online bible study and journaling group, I am getting deeper and deeper into understanding how to live God’s way.
We are reading the book of Proverbs, which I discussed earlier, is the Manual for Living.
And God will not let me simply read about the ways to live without showing me if I am really listening.
Well, He tested me this week. And when I’m quiet with myself, I know that I failed.
See, I got into a disagreement with my significant other and said some words and things that I am not proud of. I actually cursed at him. And truthfully, this was not the first time. We had established this pattern of arguing, which included cursing and yelling.
Before this week, I’d really thought nothing of it. I would justify it with – well.. he upset me, so he deserved it. Or more commonly, I’d think – he said those words to me or he started it. And he may have! Somehow now, after reading Proverbs and getting closer to Christ, those excuses don’t amount to anything. They are just that – excuses.
This past week Christ showed me an ugliness in myself that I want to fix. My mouth, and how I emotionally communicate. I want to get better for myself and to live more like Christ. And I’m sure it will benefit all of my relationships too.
It’s hard to admit these faults to myself and to my online readers, but I’m striving to be honest and authentic in hopes of encouraging others through my struggles. Maybe you can identify with me?
With God, we are never alone. He is always with us – listening, guiding, and advising.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 [NKJV]
The funny thing is that God had been putting resources in my path the whole time. I’d seen Lysa TerKeurst‘s new book, Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions, a couple of weeks ago and thought about reading it. And several of my girlfriends had been emailing about the exact issue – our mouths, our words, our emotions.
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14 [NKJV]
Well, it’s time to work on this area of my life. So, I purchased the book and began reading it. And I already feel a sense of healing as I’m learning more about myself and how to deal with emotions. In discovering this book and listening to other women’s stories, I also realized that I am not alone and not crazy. It is simply an area to work on. We all have places where God shows us “the brokenness” to make us better and closer to Him. I’m accepting this challenge to improve in this area.
I’d love to hear if you also struggle to communicate better emotionally. And if you are interested in an online bible study for Unglued, I’m thinking of starting one here – online! Please reply in the comments or email me. In the meantime, check out Lysa TerKeurst’s video for her book and bible study. Amazing!
Wishing you hope, joy, and peace,